Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Lindy Boyd-Wilson's avatar

Mashubi, I am relating to what you say. I am finding things very strange right now - new territory. I feel that I have been pushing for certain things to happen and now it's time or getting time or has been time recently to let things go and let God decide, my God-Self, since the truth is, as I understand it, that we are nothing but God.

This is kinda scary! At first, I suppose. Everything seems so strange, not like the way I used to live, where everything was organised (I thought) and more or less predictable (it felt). I feel like anything could happen now - just a feeling, partly consisting of unsteadiness probably. But why over-think about it! Better to 'let go and let God' and live in the moment pretty much (it's not possible really to do anything else!) .... I do feel there is really nothing to fear, bottom line, even though things can be painful.

I was trying to "find answers" since, gosh, I was 15 I think, so it must have been 1965. I saw the movie 'Hamlet', with Laurence Olivier as Hamlet, and it affected me greatly; I didn't speak for 3 days. At some point, a long time ago, I decided I needed to get to the bottom of it all. I tried to make that my main goal, over and above happiness. I had a lot of problems: eating issues, sexual abuse, depression, and more. At some point I knew God was real and was the answer. So I looked and looked and looked! It seemed to take a long long long time - and I'm not saying I have the answer, but it's true I'm not really looking anymore. Everything is God! All the so-called problems, the happiness, everything. Paradoxical. When I was ill a couple of years ago, on a mission to move house to down the country a bit, I was lying in bed, and Jesus - I call him Yeshwah ben Josef - suddenly appeared in front of me, He was golden-shimmery and in colour, brown and red striped long clothing, long brown hair. Very very very beautiful. I could see the wall behind Him through Him. That was very encouraging, as you can imagine!

I hope I haven't overshared. (I usually do the opposite.) I'm not quite sure why I'm saying all this - I resonate with your words Mashubi and I say, let's trust God and be brave and accept whatever happens whilst calling on the great Love in us all to emerge as it sees fit. Please God assist us to be very brave and discerning and trusting as we face these new times. God wishes us to be happy and fulfilled and demonstrate the Word of God I do believe!

Now I'm shivering a little with anxiety - how can I say what God wants. There is pain and death to face at some point. But! There is not really any death, and pain can be borne! And jeepers, why think about it! I shall go into the sun into my garden now :)

Expand full comment
Christine's avatar

Thank you, Mashubi for these updates. It seems that letting go of what is no longer purposeful will be helpful for all.

Expand full comment

No posts